There are many who talk about limiting beliefs, but it seems as though very few provide any solutions outside of “change your thinking”. As you probably already know, I’m all about being down to earth, and providing solutions that are practical in the real world. You also know that I like to base everything I talk about on personal real world experiences, and this post is no different.
Many of you also know that I spend most of my time reading various psychyology and brain books. And one of the recurring themes that I read about, is the fact that people tend to fulfill their own prophecies, whether they’re negative or positive.
You guys are all capable of achieving anything you want in your life, including getting the types of women you want. You may not even know it, but you may be standing in your own way simply because subconciously, you expect to fail. I’m not going to focus on theoretics though. Time to talk about solutions to getting where you want to be:
Choose The Right Teacher
What you really want to focus on, is choosing someone that will take their time with you, and progressively teach you instead of trying to cram everything in such a short period of time. The main difference between myself and the guys who take bootcamps, is that I’ve had guys teaching me about women my entire life; a lesson here, a lesson there. The worst thing you can do to harm your progress, is choose a teacher that seeks to take your money and then leave you hanging.
But at the same time, you don’t want a teacher that feeds you everything you need to know. The best teachers are those that gently prod you along and point you in the direction you need to go to find the answers you seek.
The best teacher I ever had was a computer science teacher in high school. While we were coding and programming, I’d grow so frustrated that I’d be ready to smash the computer. She’d never tell me exactly what I needed to do, but she asked me a lot of questions, causing me to find my own solutions. And THAT is where lifelong learning takes place. Had she just given me the answer, I never would have learned that lesson.
The most important part, is that she gave me just enough information to keep going, and she never gave up on me. There’s a reason why I was the best student in a follow-up computer networking class. In essence, although I still fucking hate computer coding, she taught me how to learn and figure things out for myself.
Go With The Flow
The worst thing you can do, is go against your strengths. The BIGGEST mistake I made in college, was go against my strengths. With the aptitude I have for quickly analyzing people and social situations, I definitely should have been in one of the social sciences from the very beginning.
And what do you think I did? I went straight into one of the math-intensive fields. I fucking hate math, and it took me four years to realize that I shouldn’t have been in the field. Now I’m paying for it. I have to go back to school, focus on the area I should have been focusing on since the very beginning, and somehow explain my terrible grades when I apply to grad school.
Chances are, I’m going to have to put in all kinds of extra work and activities that I wouldn’t have had to do, had I went with what felt natural to me. And how does this pertain to women? When you go with what feels natural to you, your chances of succeeding increase drastically.
Attack The Root Of Problems
If you remember, I had a big problem with being monogamous over the past two years, and I wanted to go back to stable monogamous dating. I just didn’t want to take the STD risk anymore by sleeping with so many women, but I couldn’t quite figure out why I couldn’t stop.
I sat down, and thought long and hard about the root of the problem. I had been in stable monogamous relationships before, so why was it so hard to go back to it? And then I figured out why. I simply had too much time on my hands, and I filled it with going out and picking up women. The solution was simple, occupy myself, and I’d go back to being mongamous.
For those of you who are having conversation problems with women, the solution might possibly be that you aren’t exposing yourself to social activties enough, or you simply aren’t cultured enough. You get my point. Look at the root of the problem, and not necessarily what first comes to mind.
Indiscriminately Seek Out Knowledge
And what I mean by this, is don’t let biases get in the way of learning. I’m looking directly at you guys who argue over which seduction method is the best. You’re only hurting yourself. You might actually find something useful to you if you widened your narrow field of vision. The best of the best seek knowledge from all fields of study.
You’ll find that a lot of people fail simply because they neglect to seek out what they need to know. One of the most useful habits that I’ve acquired, is strolling through the book store, and picking up books that look interesting to me, even if they aren’t directly releated to the area I want to specialize in.
Look hard enough, and you’ll find a solution to just about every problem you may face. In this day and age of information, chances are, someone has encountered the problem you encountered, and there is probably a book or information available if you make the effort to seek it out.
Find Positive Mentors
A lot of people look at me, and assume that I’m a black guy from the sub-urbs, simply because of how well-taught I am, when in fact, I’m from the same inner-city neighborhoods as every other black guy. My mother was addicted to crack, at one point I was homeless, and I got into my fair share of trouble (I’ve been in over 30 street fights among other things). And just the other day, three people were murdered on the street I spent the majority of my childhood on.
The only difference between myself and many of the black guys that ended up dead or in prison, is the way my authority figures spoke to me. Unlike many black families that are always yelling at their kids and telling them how shitty and stupid they are, my family members focused on telling me how smart I was and that one day I’d be someone important.
And as a result, I was provably the fastest and smartest math student in elementary school (via testing), I was placed in all of the advanced classes in middle/high school, and there were times when in a predominantly black school, I’d be the only black guy to make honor roll.
My family comes from the same tore down government housing as every other inner-city black family, yet collectively, have produced a Yale graduate student, two Ph.D’s, A CEO, A business owner, and my mother has owned her own business for quite awhile.
Stick To Your Plan
While we’re on the subject of my mother owning her own business, do you know long it took her to get there? 20 years. People always laughed and tried to sabotage her plans, but somehow, she persisted, and now she’s living comfortably and makes her own money. The same people that laughed and talked about her behind her back, are now the same people dropping by and looking to work for her.
One thing that my mother always said to me, was that someday we’d have money, we wouldn’t be poor forever, and she wouldn’t have to “kiss anyone’s ass”. That drive is what got her to where she is, in spite of all of the obstacles and set-backs thrown her way.
And how does this pertain to women? If you set your mind on a specific type of woman, keep an open mind, seek out knowledge, act on it, and most importantly, persist, there is nothing that will stop you from acheiving it. The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.